The Whole Sordid Story of the
Shawn & Don 5K
Friday, December 9, 2000

It all started innocently enough.  We were drinking beer at Founders Alehouse one Friday night in November.  Shawn was having IPA.  I was drinking Amber.  There on the table we saw it--a card advertising the Second Annual Stout Party.  It sounded like good innocent fun--a pint of stout, a t-shirt, and a small food buffet.  Ordinarily, I would be able to resist such temptations, but after a tough three-day work week and a couple of Ambers, I yielded to the pressure and slipped the card into my pocket.

Then a brainstorm hit.  T-shirt, beer, food.  That's almost like a race.  The only thing missing was RUNNING!  It had to happen.  I e-mailed my running-bud Shawn.  "How about making it the Shawn & Don 5K?"  I asked.  "Where do you come up with this stuff?"  he answered.  We met for at the scene of the crime to conspire as to how we would pull it off.  We used the measuring wheel to plot our course.  We wanted to avoid being seen on the street, so we went under the bridges, along the river, and found an easy 5K course with no street crossings. Or at least we could advertise it as easy.....

Clandestine e-mails were sent to unsuspecting runners.  How many could we draw into our little web of intrigue?

SNOW.  Up to our butts.  Or at least up to Joyce and Lee's butts.  (cute as they are).  As the runners sat freezing in their cars, I marked the trail through the snow with orange chalk.  Only the smartest among us knew to just go into Founders and have a beer while the more adventurous were lining up at the starting line. 

After an easy start on paved streets, the fun began.  Down by the fish ladder the going got rough.  The false sense of security quickly vanished as runners plunged through knee-deep snows along the path by the river.  The gates were closed along the trail, forcing our intrepid racers to go over, under, or around.  Three sets of stairs, buried in snow, made the running treacherous.

At 22:48, our winner Kevin Holmes came in to the cheers of, well, nobody, since all the smart ones were NOT standing out in the snow.  Soon Dan the Bandit came in, then our first place woman Libby Jennings crossed the line.  The rest of the crowd soon showed up, with Lee dropping in the snowbank, exhausted but happy.

Joyce and Jane started late, so Shawn and I waited for them to (finally) cross the finish line.  Jane lost her virginity* at this race, and figured that any 5K in the future HAS to be easier than this one.  She and Joyce finished in around 48 minutes.

Everyone who started the race finished.  No blood, no broken bones, no hypothermia.  Ten runners participated, with at least ten more joining us for the fun afterwards.  Founders Stout was found to be very smooth, easy to drink.  After a couple pints, we left very happy.

and the adventure continues.....

Marathon Don